There are many things you might have to do when you give your leap towards a life where you can be Simply-U. We will talk about the step-by-step later. Now I want to tell you a bit about one of the first obstacles you will have to overcome.

This is a hard one, but here we go: people’s expectations.

It is possible that many decisions you made in your life were based precisely on this - what was expected of you. Now, this can come in different shapes. You can have parents literally sticking their noses in your life and asking unsolicited questions. The typical “Honey, you are not getting younger, and I want grandchildren!”. You can also have all the “unsaid” (but clearly expressed) expectations from society and people around you. The idea that taking care of the kids and the house is the woman’s job. The expectation that women should be soft, homey, and sweet. The expectation that at thirty, you should have a family, kids, a house, and a dog.

My point is: the expectations are there, and they do influence you. They can take control over you until you finally realize that they are external expectations being projected onto you by family, friends, society, or your own inner-voice that was so “well raised” to be a “good girl/boy”.

Well, you don’t have to be those expectations, and you don’t have to be what people expect. You have the right to be yourself.

But then you ask me, how do I do that? How do I make it stop? 

I am not sure you can make it stop, but you can manage it. Here are some tips on how to do it.

Openly communicate with the people whose expectations are causing you stress or anxiety. Share your thoughts and feelings honestly and respectfully. Let them know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, and try to find a common ground or compromise if possible. Clear communication can help manage expectations and avoid misunderstandings.

Set boundaries. It might feel mean to say no, but it is actually healthy to set boundaries. Learn to say no when something doesn’t align with your own priorities or values. While it’s natural to consider the opinions of those close to you, remember that you are not obligated to meet everyone’s expectations.

Manage expectations proactively. If you’re aware of someone’s expectations and you feel comfortable doing so, try to address them early on. This is especially important in new relationships. I’ll give you an example: since I started dating my husband, I made it clear that I have no intention in spending time in the kitchen. I have cooking. Luckily, he loves cooking and is now the cook of the family. But things could have turned out differently if I had not communicated it, and I would be an unhappy cook like my mom.

Focus on what brings you fulfillment and happiness. Concentrate on your own personal development and growth, rather than focusing on meeting others’ expectations. Set your own goals and work towards them at your own pace. Celebrate your accomplishments, regardless of whether they align with others’ expectations or not.

Lastly, surround yourself with supportive and understanding individuals who respect your choices and aspirations. This is why I am here, and I hope these letters give you some guidance and encouragement.

Yours,