Yesterday my husband and I watched the movie “Awakening”, a 1990 drama based on a real story wonderfully played by Robin Williams and Robert de Niro. The movie tells the story of neurologist Dr. Malcolm Sayer, who discoveres the beneficial effects of the drug L-DOPA in 1969. He administers it to catatonic patients who survived the 1917–1928 epidemic of encephalitis lethargica. Patients who had been for decades completely unresponsive - like dolls of ghosts - come back to life. One of the patients had gotten sick in 1926, and she says: “I know it is not 1926, but I need it to be. I only know how to be 22; I have no experience at being older”.



It was surprising and painful to see all these people looking at themselves in the mirror for the first time after so many years and asking, “Is this really me?”. How did that happen?

Surprisingly, they are not the only ones to whom this happens. Most of us have not been paralyzed or catatonic. But I dare to say many of us did have a moment of “how did that happen?” in our lives, if not multiple, especially when something goes south. 

What was I thinking when I made this choice? Why did I pick this person, this career, this city, this hobby? Why am I the one that takes care of this if I hate doing it so much? Why do I hang out with these people? How come I take this rude comment as usual? So many times, we make life long decisions and create everyday habits without thinking about it. We follow the flow. “He is a nice guy, who wouldn’t want to marry him?” “It is a good deal, you should take it!” “Anyone would kill for this job!” But really… would you? What does your intuition say?

What really brought you to where you are? Conscious decisions or unconscious indecisiveness? Your past is what generates your present, and it is part of who you are. Consciously or not, you have been molding yourself. And you are a beautiful and evolving work of art! Do you feel you are in control of this work? Do you feel you have given space not only for your mind but also for your heart and intuition to lead the path? Or are any of them squeezed or hidden under the dust?

Let’s take a moment to look into the mirror and ourselves and ask: Is this really me? Who am I? What led me to this and this and this decision? What have I gotten from it? What can I be grateful for?

Is this really me? The me I want to be? Who do I want to be? 

How would I define myself if I could have 15 seconds of fame to introduce myself to the world? Can I own each word of this short statement? Could I say it to the world on every platform and social media and be proud of it? Or is there anything holding me back? Is any part of it still not a reality, but I would like it to be? Is there anything I wish it wasn’t there if I could avoid it? Is there any hurt to be healed, any crack to be fixed? Does this reflection look like me?

Be this image satisfying or not, exactly where you want to be, or far from it, it is also a blueprint. A path to find yourself and to continue discovering yourself every day. We are all a work in progress because we can never go deep enough into ourselves, and there is always something new to bring to light. Always love what you see in the mirror. It is you - you in progress, you growing. Take good care of it - you are the best person to do it.

Yours,